I love cheese. Adore it. I just finished eating a sandwich. It would not have been a proper sandwich without cheese. Fresh bread, black olive spread, hummus, butter and… cheese.
So about once every two or three months I come across someone who appears really interesting and attractive. Given my introspective nature (I can stand in front of an audience and drop my pants no problem, but that’s a situation where there’s a purpose; approaching someone I don’t know based on a vague but insistent sense of attraction isn’t something I can do comfortably) it’s dicey meeting people. Finding an apt segue that would make my entrance pleasant and not a boorish imposition is something I look for but won’t force. And then there’s the setup situation, where a friend gathers two acquaintances together in a pen with the hopes that they’ll copulate.
Once in a while someone’ll ask me what key things should be kept in mind if they choose to become vegetarian. Now I’m glad they ask me that, because in those precious few moments my degrees in nutritional science and medicine finally pay off (I don’t have any such degrees).
This is roughly what I should tell them: