Yes, yes, I’ve largely disappeared. But I swear I’m still here. Somewhere.
Tag Archives: Coping
So Amy Winehouse passed away. She died. Expired. (Enter Dead Parrot sketch here.) In the following hours and days many feeble attempts at drug-related jokes appeared on my Facebook/Google+/Twitter feed. I say feeble because a good joke is a good joke, and these simply weren’t good jokes. They were malicious. Which is fine, expected, normal, etc.
Everyone engages in self-aggrandizement at some point or another (in the day). By sharing an accomplishment and throwing in a couple of extra adjectives, or unnecessary details. At the same time everyone wants to be good as it’s been defined in their formative years and by the people they admire. This clearly differs when comparing a gang member and humanitarian worker. At bottom, however, the vast majority of people strive to be good soldiers, as it were, in whatever discipline they belong or for whatever purpose their ambition drives them.
Things disappear. Every day. Thoughts. Keys. Socks. Well one from a pair, anyway. Languages. Ideas. Dreams.
One thing that becomes increasingly clear to me is that, in a practical sense, we have little idea what as to what we’re doing. On paper it all looks good. Like communism or… well anything, really. Like online dating profiles. The person looks incredible. Yeah. That fantasy ends fast upon meeting. If the camera adds 10lbs, a dating profile… nevermind.
I know I’m a pedant. I honestly try not to burden others with it but it’s difficult. Things have their place. Processes are established for a reason. Order, where possible, is comforting. Adds predictability to an otherwise stifling chaos. I’ve learnt to keep quiet about the random facts that come to mind, as it tends to bother people. Accusations of being a keener, smart arse, etc. That grand social message of “Be yourself! Just… don’t be yourself.” Some random things from the last couple of days.
Just a post to affirm that I’m alive and around.
Things that happened today:
After work I went to pick up a parcel from the UPS warehouse. One they confirmed would be there. That their website tracking page confirmed was waiting for me. But it wasn’t. The parcel was on a truck. I decided I’d not be like the previous two customers, who stormed out swearing and throwing stuff around (not exaggerating) or be bothered by one of the clerks asking customers if their company is hiring ’cause she hates UPS (not even joking). After a few minutes they offered for me to meet up with the driver to get the parcel. So I was given the address to a plaza and told that he’d be there and I was provided with a half hour window of opportunity. Yeah. He never showed. I left 50 minutes later.
He sat in a padded chair by the window. The work lunch room was largely vacant save for one person reading a newspaper and another using the associate phone attached to the wall. The former looked like he was staring through the paper at the wall before him. The latter was turned from the room and spoke in hushed tones.